Wednesday, August 31, 2005

Strippers shouldn't drive drunk & the people who ride w/ them...

















I did something REAL STUPID this weekend...

I got in a car w/ someone who was drinking.

IDIOT!

My car was broke down (f*cked-up wires & spark plugs) & I got a ride home w/ a dancer who shall remain nameless, 4 now out of respect. Well, I knew this dancer 4 awhile, which I'll call "The Drunkenator," was drinking all night long (she's gonna hate that, LOL!). We're pretty good friends, & the manager on duty wasn't doing anything about it, so it continued throughout the night.

Anyhoo, she's pretty much buzzin' by now & I needed a ride home. The Drunkenator was talkative (like all drunks) & wanted 2 go get some breakfast @ IHOP on W. Wendover. She said that she was going anyway, & I didn't want her 2 wind up in the papers as a DUI or worse, so I went w/ her. What the hell, right?

WRONG!

As soon as she hits the highway, she starts weaving in the street. I'm like, "Oh, Sh#t!" Fortunately, the streets weren't 2 busy (it was around 3:00 AM) & we didn't hit a car or truck.

But we DID hit the damn side of the curb!

She gets scared (rightfully so), so I had 2 take the wheel real quick (from the passenger's side, no less) & attempt 2 steady the car &; calm her down @ the same time! I finally had her pull over 2 an empty parking lot & I got her out of the car, where she promptly threw up on the ground (She almost got me, 2!).

Talk about having a heart attack!
















No, this is not her...

Needless 2 say, we never had breakfast @ IHOP. I decided I'm going back 2 the club, but not b4 a cop pulls up into the parking lot (It WAS after closing time.) & checks us out.

F#CK!

Fortunately 4 us, he was kewl as I explained the sitch 2 him. He understood & let us go about our business, w/ a little chuckle I might add. LOL!

After that, I helped her into the backseat of the car & I drove her back 2 the club, where a few stragglers (dancers & staff who were still there conversating) where in the parking lot. I jumped out mad as hell & left her in her car! I called a cab (like I should have done) & went home.

Lesson, kiddies: Don't get into a car w/ a drunk stripper, or w/ anyone else who's drinking.

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