Friday, December 22, 2006

What I don't like 2 c in a strip club...

Hey, pervs.

These r just a few things I DON'T like 2 c when I go 2 a strip club, whether I'm workin' there or just visiting 1.


1) A beautiful stripper that smells.

There's nothing worse than a fine-lookin' lady that stinks, especially if it's between her legs or behind her like she didn't wipe her ass when she's in your face. Or giving u a lap dance & she stinks. I don't wanna stink! Don't rub that shit on me! I know that strippin' is hard work & u r gonna work up a sweat under those hot lights, but get a towel & dry off abit b4 u interact w/ the customers. Two words, ladies: Body spray.

2) A stripper w/ sexy legs, but didn't shave them.

Ladies, please shave those sexy legs of yours! I know it's a chore, but silky smooth legs translates in2 more $$$.

3) Pubes

I HATE seeing pubes right in front of my face while u r onstage. PLEASE SHAVE!
'Nuff said!

4) A drunk stripper

If u can't handle your liquor, then DON'T DRINK! If u can't handle your job as a stripper, then DON'T STRIP! Nothing's more disgusting than lookin' @ a drunk stripper (or a drunk ANYONE, 4 that matter) in high heels as she stumbles along in the club. Most clubs have a "no-drink" policy 4 the girls, but this doesn't stop a customer from buying them 1.

5) A stripper's boyfriend or girlfriend in the club

Leave your boyfriend/girlfriend/lover/chum/friend with benefits/entourage AT HOME! Believe it or not, strippin' is A BUSINESS & should b treated like 1. No 1 is goin' 2 tip u w/ your "hanger-on" following u around the club. Trust me.

6) Arrogant/Stuck-up Strippers

Ladies, I know u deal w/ jerks/assholes/idiots all night, but please don't b 1 yourself. There's nothing uglier than a stripper w/ a fucked-up attitude. I've actually seen strippers that r only average-looking make more $$$ than the "bombshells" because they were friendlier & conversated w/ the customer, while the pretty 1's thought their shit didn't stink (it does) & couldn't b bothered.

7) A talkative DJ

2 the DJs: STOP TALKING SO DAMN MUCH! I personally keep the chatter on the mic 2 a minumum because I want 2 c the ladies "shake their thang" w/o alot of gab from the DJ. I know it's your job, but please keep the talk 2 a minumum.

8) A stripper w/ a dirty/unclean costume

Changing 1's costume ever set is very important. Nobody wants 2 tip a dancer w/ a unclean costume on. It looks ghetto (Sorry 4 the expression).

9) A group of strippers by themselves

If there r customers in the club, the dancers SHOULD NOT b huddled among themselves gossiping about other girls or some of the customers. U have 2 b out there among "the people" in order 2 make any $$$. Mingle, ladies, MINGLE!

10) Loud Strippers

Nothing's more embarassing than a stripper that is really loud in a strip club. It's not necessary & it really puts off the customers, especially if it's a slow night & u r complaining that u r not making any $$$. & another thing: DON'T CUSS OUT A CUSTOMER IF HE DIDN'T DO ANYTHING 2 U. It's really low-class if a stripper calls out a customer/customers merely because he's not spending his entire paycheck in the club.


I'm sure I can think of some more shit (& I will later), but I'm tired (took the night off 2 do some X-Mas shopping) & I need 2 get up early tomorrow (or 2day, depending on how u look @ it) 2 take care of some bills.



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